Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

So True……

1 stone is enough to break a glass.
1sentence is enough to break a heart.
1sec is enough to fall in love.

But y d hell 1chapter is not enough to pass in exam…???

A boy’s eye is
Faster than Google in searching a
Beautiful girl in crowd…
:
But
…:
A boy’s heart is slower than
Governments bus while
Proposing a Girl whom he truly
Loves.

“COLLEGE n SCHOOL are d nickname of HEAVEN”

Hmmm…..
Dats y it is said dat
“COUPLES r made in HEAVEN.

My Teacher pointed at me with a Ruler & said:
At the End of this Ruler is an Idiot I still don’t get why I got rusticated.
I only asked him, Which End Sir?

Professor: What’s attention deficit hyperactive disorder?
Student: jimbalakadi bamba.
Professor: Sorry, I don’t undrstnd what u said?
Student: Same here sir!

Father to son: why don’t u just go and study?
Son: what for?
Father: U’ll get good marks…
Son: then?
Father: U’ll get good job.
……Son: then?
Father: U’ll have big house, new car.
Son: so what after that?
Father: after that U’ll relax.
Son: so what do u think I m doing right now???

Announcement in University:

“The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them”

Another announcement after 20 minutes:

“The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes”

Ugly Truth:

In Bed,
It’s 6AM,
You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins…
…& it’s 7:45

But in Office,
It’s 9:30am
You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins…
& It’s Still 9:31

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Humors from TIMES OF INDIA.








After Women Day ……!!

A man was SICK and TIRED of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

And further jealous of her, as she received lot of Women’s Day wishes and compliments

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what Igo through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.Amen!"

Poof!!!

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose,

cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,

Packed their lunches, Drove them to school,Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the check book…

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1.00pm

And he hurried to make the beds…

…do the laundry…

vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor…

…Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and…

…got the kids organized to do their homework.Then,

set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.At 4:30pm,

he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad…

…rolled meatballs and snapped fresh beans for supper.After supper,

He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher.. .

…Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed.At 9.00pm,

He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished,he went to bed where he was expected to make love,

which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning,
he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

"Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Oh!Please, let us trade back. Amen!"

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You’ll just have to waitNINE MONTHS, though.

You got pregnant last night."

Overconfident…

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Flowers.” “That’s right!” the boy said,

“But, how did you know?” “Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.”

“That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl. “Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. “Is it wine?” she asked.

“No,” the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. “Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”

With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!”

The Ant Story

Any coincidence with corporate world is purely coincidental

Last moments – too good..!!!

BEGGARS CAN BE CHOOSERS…….!!

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs. 10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7, 50.

" Well," the beggar thinks, " it’s still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

" What’s going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. " First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7,50 and now only Rs. 5. What’s the problem?"

" Well," the man says, " last year my eldest son went to university. It’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further ."

" And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

" Four," the man replies.

" Well," says the beggar, " I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense".